"I like to be a free spirit. Some don't like that, but that's the way I am." - Princess Diana

Friday, December 16, 2011

Why Have I Done To Deserve This?

   Author's Note: This piece that you are about to read is a work of fiction about depression. It explains the story of a young girl who believes that all hope is lost in her life. I don't have much experience with this subject but I enjoy writing from different point of views of people.

   What did I do to deserve this?  Why has the world turned on me? Please tell me what I did to have my life come to this, please.   
    I might look good on the outside, but my god, you have not seen me on the inside. At school I am bullied to the point where I don’t even see why I should be here, my brother is a high school drop out with a criminal record, my oldest sister died last year in a car crash, and my parents are to shy to do anything about anything. Nobody understands, no body gets it.
     I don’t tell my parents how unhappy my school life is. I can’t, they wouldn’t listen, they don’t get it. They can only assume. I’m not a bad student, but I’m not the best. Everyone always pushes me to be the best but, I don’t always want to listen. Private school is hard as is. Mean girls, immature boys, strict teachers, I basically have no where else to turn. I have no one to talk to. I am the freak, outsider, loser, loner, sister of the screw up, and going to be the newer mess up in their eyes. They don’t even 
know. They don’t even know about me or my life. They don't know about Emily. 
    Lets continue with my family. My oldest sister, Emily, was a straight “A” student. Good grades, great friends, so nice, and so beautiful. She was all you would ever want in an older sister and I was so grateful for her. Emily was the person I could talk to, the only person that listened. She was my best friend, my only friend. She had a whole future in from of her, her whole life and my parents were so proud of her. Until, one hot summer night of senior year. I remember getting a phone call that she was in the passenger’s seat  of a car with all of her friends, the driver got distracted from her phone, and they crashed. Why did she have to go! Why did he take her life instead of my own? She was so perfect and she had it all. Why did she have to go?
    After this, my brother, Josh, became a screw-up. He started smoking and doing activities against the law. I will always remember watching him, from the peer of my door crack, at the front door with handcuffs on and a police officer behind him. My parents can’t stand up to him and his rebellious against society. I can’t even stand to look him in the eye. He loved Emily as an older sister, an older sister that helped him grow up and helped him try to see the light of day. Josh was better when Emily was here, but after she left. His life took a drastic turn for the worst.
    As for me, my life went dark after Emily left. She was all I had left. She was the light, that...spark that kept me from thinking all hope was lost. I loved watching her become the person she was as much as she loved watching me grow up. I feel like I was shot in the heart and all of my love is draining out. I will always remember, that night that I will never forget.

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